The definative list of the different types of galleries

Ever wonder what are the different types of galleries are out there? Are they all the same? What do they want? What can you expect? Why are there more questions so far than answers?

Museums – the artwork in a museum is not for sale. A museum only sells parts of its own building to very rich individuals. To qualify for your art to get into a museum, you usually have to ensure you and your society are long gone and your work has been looted by a far away civilization.

Rental and Sales Galleries – some museums and public galleries will also have a space for work to be rented to corporations. This provides a valuable opportunity to appraise sensitive people’s art while earning minimum wage.

Art Consultants -These individuals act as the middlemen between a stable of artists and art collectors and collections and often rent galleries for their own exhibits. They are direct descendants of fur, spice and opium traders and can be identified by their bright and flamboyant clothing.

Commercial Galleries – They likey your art, they selley your art. They will pay you whatever they think you deserve. Now shut up and smile for the camera.

Nonprofit Galleries – Selling work is not the primary concern… filling out applications for grants and funding is. Nonprofit also means retirement for young artists and curators and hipsters if they can score a job and squat in it … forever…..

Co-op Galleries – If a hundred artists paid a thousand dollars a year to me, I could have a job at a gallery getting them to run the gallery for me … oh, and they could have a show every three years.

Rental Galleries -Bad artist? Got cash? Like Celine Dion? No problem! Rent a space and live the dream. Then get out.

Window Gallery – Free, accessible, low-maintenance 24 hour public gallery spaces behind glass. Added bonus of easily exaggerating the number of people who actually noticed your work in the haze of drudgery that is their lives.

Projection Gallery – A regular and shifting projection of art work out from or into somewhere. Perfected in Toronto by adding corporate sponsorship and calling it “nuit blanche”.

One comment

  1. EJ · July 25, 2011

    It’s “definitive.” (-:

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