A glib list of the top 10 cliches in Contemporary Art right now

So, I figure I have seen about 5,000 works of art in the last year (most of it online, mind you) and have been to about 500 exhibitions (no word of a lie) so of course I notice trends and directions. However, there are some cliches and degraded mimicry going on that needs to be pointed out. Not that some people doing some of the stuff below is not very cool or worthy, but unfortunatly most of it is not. Some of the cliches below have been haunting rental galleries for decades, others are propoganda of the trendiest galleries in Toronto.

10. Grainy polaroid photographs of skinny girls with tabbit masks. goddamn hipster douchebags. urgh.
9. Nude in a landscape somewhere. watch out for the cheeseball avalanche. blerk.
8. Drama masks on a canvas with paint splatterd on it…. burn after seeing. bwah.
7. Photo transfer on canvas …are you trying to be the new Robert Bateman? idiots producing and buying this shit.
6. Neon lighting words – proof some can be just as bad writers as artists. pfft.
5. Hudson Bay blanket & colours – try to stand out on Queen Street West, not blend in. whatev.
4. Vinyl cartoony flowers and characters on walls. pokemon is hokey art.
3. Victorian era style images of animal and people … but… omg.. with surreal elements! oh no!…. yawn….
2. Architects doing site specific work. Golly, would you like more whitespace? Could you possibly be more boring?More de-humanizing? More mini-institutional… yes you can.
1. black and white photographs of your damn family history. oh look! here’s my mom and dad on vacation somewhere! here’s a locket of hair! it’s in a lightbox! …. please shoot me in the foot so I can feel alive again.

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